Have I blown it? Unrequited gay love? I'm a gay man .....?

You sound like you are extremely anxious about this relationship. Anxiety, leads to stress and stress leads to depression. You obviously love this guy and the best way to deal with these situations is to confront him as soon as possible. Decide what u want, and what will hurt you the least, and then confront him with your decision. Its the hardest way to deal with these situations but also the most effective. As to whether or not you did the right thing , I would say yes, because at least you have confronted him, and now he needs to decide. At least then you can move on with your life. The longer you leave this unresolved the more its going to hurt. Sorry, hope i helped in some way.